I don´t expect much from people and therefore little things make me so happy so quickly. It is so simple to put a smile on my face. The problem with this is that it is so easy for people to never do anything or say anything nice for/to me and I will still treat them like my best friend. But every now and again I get shown an act of kindness and then suddenly I know that which I´m missing.
My Pamela and I made two friends while in Athens. These two awesome dudes are from Guinea but are trying to make a life in Athens. They speak more french than anything else but we got along fine. They invited us over for dinner one night. Papi cooked us fish and plantain.
While he was cooking I just couldn´t help but think of how sweet it is to be cooked for. I am so accustomed to being the cook in the relationship that when I see a man cook for a woman it melts my heart. My friend Kelly (boy) cooks for the love of his life, Joey (girl) almost every time that I´ve been over to their apartment. I never wanted to be one with high expectations in life because disappointment is such a big fear for me. I hate being let down, so it´s best not to expect anything. However, my way has not gotten me that which I need or want as of yet so perhaps I need a new out look on life. I am not about to make a list of what I want from a man but in time, when I date again, I want a man that will cook for me too. Not every day but maybe to just share in the craft. There is not much wrong with equality in my eyes. I shudder to think that I was actually in a relationship that when I asked him sweetly in the morning if he would like me to make him a cup of tea and he responded so rudely that ¨he didn´t fucking care, it doesn´t matter¨ as he stomped his way over to my computer to search facebook for ´hot chicks´ that he has never met in his life. Sorry for the digression but I have some skeletons that need hanging out to dry.
I´m bored of compromise. Eventually, I need a man who thanks me when I serve him something. One whom does his own laundry. Plans and makes his own lunch in the morning because it saves money. This is how I understand life and I want a partner in this and not a fighter.
On my travels I´ve had some good experiences at different times with real good men. I do not mean this in a sexual manner, I wish I did not have to make that clear. But boys automatically think, oh, single, travelling alone, I´ma gunna plant that seed. I do not view life this way. I am not interested in many, I am interested in one good man or just making friends and sharing meals and life things.
One night I got some groceries and my friend had the other ingredients. Together we cooked dinner and then served our other friend. To thank us he immediately took the dishes and cleaned them all. Holy crap, the idea that this simple act of mature equality warms my heart must mean I really need more expectations from people. Time to turn a new leaf.
In Sicilia, our gracious host, Massimo and his friend, Guisseppe insisted on cooking Pamela and I dinner. We ended up helping out too and this is what it looked like:
My Pamela and I made two friends while in Athens. These two awesome dudes are from Guinea but are trying to make a life in Athens. They speak more french than anything else but we got along fine. They invited us over for dinner one night. Papi cooked us fish and plantain.
While he was cooking I just couldn´t help but think of how sweet it is to be cooked for. I am so accustomed to being the cook in the relationship that when I see a man cook for a woman it melts my heart. My friend Kelly (boy) cooks for the love of his life, Joey (girl) almost every time that I´ve been over to their apartment. I never wanted to be one with high expectations in life because disappointment is such a big fear for me. I hate being let down, so it´s best not to expect anything. However, my way has not gotten me that which I need or want as of yet so perhaps I need a new out look on life. I am not about to make a list of what I want from a man but in time, when I date again, I want a man that will cook for me too. Not every day but maybe to just share in the craft. There is not much wrong with equality in my eyes. I shudder to think that I was actually in a relationship that when I asked him sweetly in the morning if he would like me to make him a cup of tea and he responded so rudely that ¨he didn´t fucking care, it doesn´t matter¨ as he stomped his way over to my computer to search facebook for ´hot chicks´ that he has never met in his life. Sorry for the digression but I have some skeletons that need hanging out to dry.
I´m bored of compromise. Eventually, I need a man who thanks me when I serve him something. One whom does his own laundry. Plans and makes his own lunch in the morning because it saves money. This is how I understand life and I want a partner in this and not a fighter.
On my travels I´ve had some good experiences at different times with real good men. I do not mean this in a sexual manner, I wish I did not have to make that clear. But boys automatically think, oh, single, travelling alone, I´ma gunna plant that seed. I do not view life this way. I am not interested in many, I am interested in one good man or just making friends and sharing meals and life things.
One night I got some groceries and my friend had the other ingredients. Together we cooked dinner and then served our other friend. To thank us he immediately took the dishes and cleaned them all. Holy crap, the idea that this simple act of mature equality warms my heart must mean I really need more expectations from people. Time to turn a new leaf.
In Sicilia, our gracious host, Massimo and his friend, Guisseppe insisted on cooking Pamela and I dinner. We ended up helping out too and this is what it looked like:
food is the ultimate love of life.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a joy it is to be able to sit freely and be with someone in conversation or elation or sharing a meal or whathaveyou without a thought crossing either one of your minds that it means more than what's on the surface. It's almost superficial. It lacks a sense of contentment, in my eyes. A sense of easy connection is far more comforting and appealing to me without the other person mistakening it for romantic interest.