The story of Nicola Nicola was a little boy from Sicily who lived by the sea. He loved swimming so much he would spend every day out in the water. Every night his mother would call out to him when dinner time approached "Coooooolllaaaaa!" She would shout until he found his way back home. The kids in his town would often make fun of him, he had no true friends. His whole childhood was spent in the sea. He was able to stay under water for long periods of time, all day even. Eventually he even developed webbed feet and gills like that of a fish. This of course, only caused more teasing from his peers. As he grew older, his fondness for the sea grew stronger. Sometimes he would be gone for days even. One day the King of Sicily got word of his special gift of being such a strong swimmer. He came to Cola and explained that Sicily and all it's people were in great danger. You see, back then, Sicilians believed that Sicily was being held up by large posts. Over time, the posts were beginning to erode. The King asked Cola if he would come on this special mission with him and Cola obliged. The King took Cola out far deep into the Sea and asked him to swim as deep as possible to see if the posts were failing and if Sicily would soon sink under water. Cola agreed and dove deep under the Sea. But, he never returned. The people of Sicily believe that there are three possible outcomes to this story. Did Cola find the broken post and stay under water forever, holding Sicily up and thus being a hero and saving it from sinking? Did Cola go too deep and be taken away lost forever in the Sea? Or did Cola eventually turn fully into a fish and swam away, becoming free from society's demands and ridicule?
I was told this folklore on my last night in Alcamo while hanging out at the natural Termo's. Of course I cannot tell it as good as Massimo who is from Sicily and who's grandparents told him the story that was passed down from generation to generation. After he finished we discussed the outcome. My friends believed that Cola was still under the Sea holding up Sicily and saving it from sinking. To them, this made him the hero. But I thought otherwise. I hope that he swam away and is free, instead of holding the weight of the world on his shoulders for people who never made him feel welcome or loved in the first place. They thought my view was horrible and it takes away from Cola being a hero and turns him into a coward. I disagree. I think it is most courageous to chose freedom over enslavement. The idea of him holding up the island forever and ever makes me sad. The idea of him swimming away and becoming a fish makes me happy and that makes him more of a hero in my eyes.
Exactly a year ago today, I was on my way from Napoli to Sicily. It had been a dream of mine to go to Sicilia probably since I saw the Godfather for the first time. I also drew inspiration from this ancient land from a book I read that I had found at a Salvation Army back in the day called, Olivo Oliva. Sicily is just full of tradition and culture and surrounded by the crystal clear turquoise sea. Before leaving to Europe, I had thought about designating a whole month to the land. I would meet my friend, Pame, and we would rent a car and travel the whole soccer ball. One thing led to another as time grew short so I was only able to give a week to that dream. I conquered only a mere smidgen of the land but oh boy, was it ever spectacular and breathtaking Absolutely stunning. I would go back to Sicily in a heart beat.
I met Pame on an early Wednesday morning. I had taken a night train to save from losing another day travelling. I walked from the train station to meet her at an apartment she had rented the night before. I came up to the address and buzzed, she poked her head out from the window up above. And so our adventure began. I could honestly write a script based upon that one day in Palermo alone. We walked the streets together looking for a specific something. We had been travelling together through Athens but then separated for a week and a half; me to Santorini and her to Berlin. We spent that entire day taking turns telling parts of our stories. Everything surrounded around the one event that was leading us on this treasure hunt. If I were to write this movie, I would call it "The Morning After" and it would resemble a Woody Allen film but be inspired by Before Sunrise.
A Postcard for Neener
Palermo wasn't doing it for me. I wanted to see the countryside, not another dirty Italian city with garbage heaps everywhere and men making passes as we walked down the street. We found a farm to rent in a nearby town called Alcamo. The ad stated "Holiday, Nature, Sea, Relax". However I think it also said "fun" at the time but Massimo had since changed the ad. It was a mere 20 Euros a night! We jumped on a bus and headed to this town on the sea. We arrived at a bus station near a park. The sun was shining bright, it was warm as hell. I went inside the small bus station/cafe and got me some pistachio gelato. The boy serving it really scooped in that ice cream, it was practically over flowing. Our host, Massimo, arrived right at that moment as I was devouring this mountain of a treat. We got into his little car and he took us to the farm.
We pull up to the gated house and I am already blown away. In front was the hills and countryside that I had always dreamed of. The farm was laced with lemon, fig, and olive trees. Massimo had planted every single one of those trees with his Grandpa when he was just a boy. The farm had an outdoor kitchen and a nice relaxing deck. Pam and I agreed, that it would be so nice to just lay outside for the next few days and do absolutely nothing. I pictured myself walking along the winding roads, picking flowers, making things out of nature. She said that she would help me learn more Spanish as I was heading to Spain next. Well my plans to relax didn't quite happen.
Massimo took us to the Termo's that very day. The Termo is a natural hot spring. It is off the beaten track; a place we never would have found without a local helping us. It was really awesome to just chill out in that hot water. Relax all the aching muscles from the journey thus far. On the way back, we got some groceries from the market and Pame and I made a lovely dinner for two. I even picked a lemon from the tree for the salad dressing.
That night we washed up and jumped into bed, about to watch Choclat, as Pam was absolutely appalled that I had never seen that film before. But then Massimo and his friend Guisseppe showed up at our door ready to take us out on the town. I really did not want to go but also did not want to be rude. So I quickly got ready and obliged. We went into the little town of Alcamo and got the largest beer I have ever seen in my life. Guisseppe could not speak any English, I could not speak any Italian, Pamela is fluent in Spanish and could have a conversation in Italian, Massimo's English was great in my opinion. Unfortunately, that night, not much English was spoken. I felt like the odd man out. It was difficult sitting at a table with people who are all laughing having a good time and I am sitting there like a lamb lost in the woods. At that point, I really would have preferred to just be alone instead of faking a smile to accommodate their comfort. The night was good though, it was lovely out and we saw some nice spots in Alcamo. I was most happy to be home in bed at the end of the night.
The next day I woke up way earlier than Pamela. My mind would wake up and that was that. I enjoyed the morning to myself, showering and puttering around in the garden. Eventually Massimo showed up to take us somewhere beautiful. As much as I just wanted to hang out in the garden, I did not want to be a party pooper so off we went. He first brought us to a cute little cafe where we got drinks and I got a very yummy pastry. Massimo took us to the beach which is right in the back of the apartment he lives in. I was in shock, I said this is what you see everyday!? The beach has white sands stretching out as far as the eye can see. The day was sunny and hot, we were in luck! We did some yoga and went for a walk, I was in awe of how clear the water was. Massimo and Pamela were goofing off and I was having this urge to just be alone. I walked off from them to just do my thing.
Eventually the three of us were laying on the beach hanging out. I was reading and Massimo was bugging me about it. Telling me that reading was boring and he kept interrupting my story. I was starting to get a bit annoyed. I just wanted to do my thing; I love reading on the beach it is my favourite. He went inside his apartment to change or shower or something and asked us to wait. The wait was long. We were in the sun, I was starting to feel myself losing it slightly. I could feel the desire to to just be alone growing inside me.
Pame and I really wanted to find a place with wifi that day. By the time we got into town nothing was open. The boys really wanted to cook dinner for us so Massimo took us to pick up Guisseppe and we went to the market. Little things started weighing on my patience. It is unlike me to not be able to go with the flow, something was up but I didn't understand what yet. Next thing, we were back at the farm ready to cook dinner. I had mistook the dinner plans, I thought we were eating at either their places. I felt a little bit like our privacy was being encroached upon. I mean, we rented a private house and now visitors were coming over to cook. I had left all my things lying around so I nervously tried to clean up a bit for them. Dinner was good. I was bad. I felt my emotions getting ready to explode. I was faking a smile as much as I could but deep down inside I felt absolute misery. I did not eat much and I fought the tears back the entire dinner.
Afterwards, the boys were giving Pam a nice massage on the deck. I snuck away to the back of the garden where no one could see me. I sat in the dirt and I cried. I cried and cried. I dug my hands deep into the garden to feel the earth that I had so longed to feel. I could hear Pame in the distance calling for me. I did not want to worry her but I also just really wanted my moment in that garden to be private. I had to come out of the garden and tell her that I was feeling highly emotional and I didn't know why. She was understanding and supportive.
The next morning, I was up early again. I discovered that choosing to not put sun screen on my legs was a bad idea. My legs were as red as a tomatoe. I found some sunglasses and put them on. Pam got mad at me because they weren't mine. I wasn't stealing them, I was just trying to hide my puffy eyes. I felt tears already forming, I knew my mind was lost and I wasn't sure how I would get it back. Massimo arrived and we were off on another adventure. Massimo had suggested that they speak English to make me feel more like a part of the conversation, I thought that was a great idea but Pam just kept reverting back to Spanlian. I put my headphones on. I knew I was being antisocial but I was trying to do things that comfort me, to try and aid my emotional state. That day I realized my issue with being helpless in a car. When I am not in a healthy mind state, I have discovered that I can realize where my weaknesses lie. When things from the past that I may not have fully dealt with come crawling back to haunt me. Like the lava in a volcano waiting for eruption.
Massimo was always picking us up and taking us somewhere. I didn't know where we were going and I did not have a choice in the matter. I felt helpless. To make things clear, Massimo is the nicest guy in the world. Taking us places like that was so amazing of him, he asked for nothing in return. At that time, I was just going through something emotionally and I felt even more guilty that I was not able to enjoy what he was doing for us and thus being unappreciative. So my guilt just made me even more emotional. My realization that day about being in a car and being helpless was a common theme of my past. When I was a child my father often drank and drove. He picked me up from school many times inebriated and I remember being very scared. I was a child, I had no choice but to get in the swerving vehicle. Later, after my dad had quit drinking for 5 years, he had relapsed and it was discovered while he was driving our family to the cottage. It was the 1 year anniversary of when his father passed away. It clearly effected him and he snuck some alcohol. While in the car we noticed something wasn't right with him. He was drunk. We pulled over and my mom took the wheel. I had a flood of memories that I had repressed since childhood come back at full speed. It was a lot to handle. It is the underlying cause to why I do not like feeling out of control and trapped while in a vehicle.
My first ex-boyfriend used to take the opportunity to yell at me while in his car. He knew I could not walk away so when I would not expect it he would drive me somewhere and just start yelling at me. I felt so helpless, I often thought of throwing myself out of the moving vehicle but I never did. I would always end up crying and he would not let me go home until I stopped crying so that my parents would not know that he just berated me. My second ex-boyfriend was a horrible driver. He never wore his seat belt either. He would smoke weed, talk on the cell phone, check out girls passing by, change the radio, and eat a sandwich all at the same time while driving. Being in a car with him had me always on a constant alert. He passed through stop signs on numerous occasions. He made me feel very unsafe.
So here I am in Sicily, looking out the window at the most beautiful scenery and all I can think about is my past hurts because the situation is triggering my memory. I did eventually snap out of it. Guisseppe brought me a cigar that day and it really helped to calm my nerves. We went to a lagoon like beach and it was so beautiful. I swam in the Mediterranean Sea for the first time ever that day. We also rode on a scooter. Oh man I laughed so hard on that scooter. There was 4 of us on it and Massimo was wearing a speedo and Pame could feel his junk bumping around on her back! We were dying of laughter! The boys joked that we would get to have free lunch that day, in jail.
We went to another beach along the way and also to a small village. It was a great day. I also realized that day why I was losing my mind. I have a B12 deficiency. I give myself monthly injections of B12. While travelling, my doctor thought it would be best if I did not carry needles with me. So I was taking daily B12 pills. They weren't working and I realized that the hard way after I had been 6 weeks on the road. We went searching for a pharmacy but could not find one that had what I needed. Sicily is oldschool. Massimo was feeling pretty bad, he thought I was not enjoying his beautiful homeland. I told him that just was not the problem, I have a health issue and it is why I have been so distraught the last few days. At this point Pame and I still hadn't had access to the internet. I really wanted to let my parents know I was doing well and I also really needed to find a place to stay in Palermo for the one night I would be there before catching my plane to Seville. Guisseppe brought over his laptop and we got to do our computer stuff. Massimo called his friend who worked at a pharmacy and we explained my dire need for my B12 shot.
The next day he dropped us off into town and we of course had to wait hours for the pharmacy to open as it was Siesta. I caved at that point and bought a pack of cigarettes. They helped to calm me down and aid me. I went into the pharmacy and got my medication. We took it back to the farm. I opened the package and it looked nothing like how it looks back at home! The needle was way larger, I felt like I was in a cartoon and a nurse was pulling out a syringe and my eyes were popping out of my head. The glass vile had to be broke and then mixed. I had no clue what to do. Massimo helped me and showed me how it was done. I will say it again, Sicily is oldschool! I managed to suck it up and get that long needle into my leg. Within minutes I felt better.
It was our last night in Alcamo so we begged Massimo to take us back to the Termo's for one last night time dip. It was lovely and I felt like myself again! Sicilia really is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. I will go back one day and explore the rest of it. I really wanted to visit Etna, and at that time the volcano was highly active. The moral of this story is that sometimes adventures don't go as planned. Sometimes the experience can by brutal and sad. The point is to take even those bad experiences and hold them close to your heart and to understand that there is a lesson to be learned. Even though my emotions took a hold of me that week and inhibited me from being happy; I look back and feel like I would not want it any other way. I learned a lot from this experience and I had to lean on friends, both old and new, who showed me love and compassion. For that I am grateful.
I have a new found love interest. It's food related of course. I had been keen to learn more about making smoothies. When I first started going over to my boyfriends place I would watch him get a smoothie ready in his little blender. We would walk to the health food store and I'd see him buy hemp hearts and chlorella. It peaked my interest and I figured there was more to making smoothies then what meets the eye. Well there is a lot in the over-all goodness and healthfulness to these wonderful drinks however there is nothing much to making them. All you need is a blender really. My parents had gotten me a magic bullet knock off a few years back that was still sitting in the box in the basement. I pulled it out the first time when I made homemade raw coconut milk. This blender comes with 2 different sized pitchers that you can actually put a lid on and store in the fridge. Anyway, I am not here to sell anyone a freakin' blender, however I can say any old blender will do.
I signed up for a 30 Day Smoothie Challenge with the folks at Young And Raw. There are prizes to be won so I thought it couldn't hurt to sign up. They email participants a grocery list for the month, putting in detail everything you would need to grab at the market every 5 or 6 days. At my house, we are always stocked with veggies and fruits, often being kept in the cold seller when we buy bulk. We were already juicing but I was feeling guilty about all the pulp and fiber that had to be thrown out afterwards; I felt like there was still some good vitamins left in that pulp.
Pulp from juicer
The idea of the challenge is to commit to making a smoothie everyday. I feel like this is such a fantastic way to not only learn a whole months worth of smoothie recipes, but to also be able to try them all so that you can decide what tastes best for you. Secondly, the best part is getting into the habit of making a smoothie everyday. The challenge is over for me, but I have still made a smoothie everyday since and I plan on doing this for the rest of my life. I love fruits and veggies so much, but I can find it rather boring nowadays to sit there and eat a whole apple and then munch on a stalk of celery and a chunk of cucumber; to make a spinach or kale salad everyday can be discouraging. The great thing about smoothies is you get to mix your fruits and veggies together which was surprisingly tastier then anything ever.
I guess I am lucky that I have a taste for such good foods. That I genuinely love plant based foods. I also love mushy textures. I love soup, apple sauce. pudding, yogurt, milk shakes and even baby food. Speaking of baby food, when i have kids one day they are going to live off smoothies, what an easy way to get kids to eat fruits and veggies.
I must take the time to KILL the notion that eating healthy is expensive. I think that is absolutely absurd and an excuse. A bunch of kale that lasts me a week or even longer costs less then a bag of chips that one will polish off in one sitting. I bag of oranges in bulk cost less then a box of cookies. Look for the sales. Blueberries the other week were going for 99 cents for a container. We stocked up at home and froze them. My smoothie today consisted of a nice handful of those wonderful frozen blueberries. A container of strawberries cost about as much as a chocolate bar. Bananas are just about the cheapest fruit in the world. You can get a whole hand (the individual banana is actually called a finger) for like a dollar or two. Most people can't even finish a whole bunch of bananas in a week, well peel them and freeze them. Bananas are also better for you when they start having those black spots on the skin. I personally dislike eating mushy ripe bananas; I often gag before I am even half way through. However, in a smoothie they go down so easy and they also help to sweeten it. The texture of a frozen banana in a smoothie is remarkably delectable.
When I got the grocery list I noticed that within the next few weeks I was going to need peaches and nectarines. I know those particular fruits have not been on sale for some time. I was going through the flyers on Thursday night and I noticed that they were a dollar a pound at no frills. So I bought a bunch, washed them, cut them up and froze them for later. I grew up scouring the flyers. We get excited at my house on the night they come in the mississauga news. The flyers tell us what we will be eating for the week. I grew up in a house where we buy things when they are on sale. On any given day I can tell you what the best sales are at that time and for which grocery store. Test me, I dare you. Maybe I am too frugal for one's liking, but that is just me. It all stems from taking pride in your work and treating your earnings from that work like gold.
One thing about smoothies that has pleasantly surprised me is how absolutely fantastic green leafy veggies taste and blend in with the sweeter fruits. In fact, for the most part my smoothies are about 80% veggies and the rest fruit. Kale, spinach, and bok choy are my utmost favourite. I also love parsley and ginger. However, I have found that cilantro and avocado ruin a smoothie. This is why the challenge was so beneficial for me, I was able to try 30 different recipes and found out exactly what I like. I am now able to make up a recipe on the fly by seeing what is available in my fridge, which is based on what is on sale that week. Top priorities are those fruits and veggies that are about to hit their expiration time. Both juicing and smoothies are a fantastic way to use up older produce.
I always add a spoonful of some super seed/grain/powder to my smoothies. I've read many articles and I have found that these 3 are the best there is right now:
I first tried hemp seeds at the Greenbelt Harvest Picnic last summer. This hippie dude was handing them out like candy! You can find them in bulk at the bulk barn usually right next to the Chia Seeds. Chia is a tad more expensive but it goes a long way. Think of it more as an investment. I bought a bag of hemp and chia two months ago, spent about 12$ and I still have a lot left. To put things in perspective, 2 beers at a bar can pay for your superfoods for two months. Now tell me, what is expensive about healthful eating? My beautiful adventurous friend forever, Pame, gave me a whole container full of Spirulina because she was leaving to Puerto Rico and wasn't sure when she will return. I am sure it will last me well into the summer.
The Young and Raw smoothie recipes has coconut water as an option instead of using just regular water. Coconut water has way more electrolytes and therefore refreshes and hydrates better then even Gatorade. Hey I didn't know what the hell electrolytes were either but once you see the word you will start hearing it everywhere, like in Tropic Thunder when Ben Stiller's character yells for electrolytes when he runs out of water. Raw coconut water with no added sugar is harder to find at regular grocery stores. Lucky for me, I live in a multicultural city. Coconut water can be found easily at Oceans, which is a fantastic grocery store that leans towards the cooking styles of South Asians and West Indians. You can find amazing deals on produce there as well. Also, they have a food counter that sells little sushi trays for half the price that you would find at metro or loblaws.
To wrap this up, I will share some smoothie recipes to give an idea of what goes into these things if you feel the urge to jump up and throw your fridge contents in a blender by all means please do!
This ^ was my breakfast today:
1 cup of Blueberries
1 handful of Kale
1 stalk of Celery
1 Lemon Juiced
a chunk of cucumber
a chunk of Ginger
half of a frozen Banana
1 spoonful each of hemp hearts, chia seeds, and spirulina
1 cup of coconut water
Here is a recipe I made up when I had too much baby bok choy kickin' around:
2 little bunches of baby bok choy
1 whole large nectarine or peach
½ banana
1 orange juiced
Chunk of ginger
Spirulina, chia seeds, hemp seeds
1 cup of coconut water
This one is inspired by the first smoothie on the challenge:
1 banana
1 pear
1 lime juiced
1 stalk of celery
small handful parsley
handful of dandelion leaves
chunk of ginger
leftover chunk of cucumber
*optional: hemp, chia, spirulina
1 cup of coconut water
Remember, you do not need coconut water to make a smoothie, use regular water it tastes the same. You also do not need the superfoods to make a great smoothie healthy, it is enough to just get that wholesome produce inside you!
Perhaps, next time you feel like a smooth treat from your local fast food crap hole you will think about this:
When I read this I actually had to ask my man what the hell a shamrock shake tastes like? You can not figure it out when you look at the ingredients list, apparently it tastes like mint... Well, Young and Raw came out with their own version of this shake and I made it as a late night snack the other night. It was freaking fantastic! Here is the recipe:
2 Frozen, Ripe Bananas (peeled)
1 Handful of Spinach or Kale
1 Handful of Mint Leaves*optional
1 tbsp. Hemp Seeds*optional
1 Cup of Coconut Milk (I used almond milk)
I have saved all the recipes I obtained through out the challenge. I plan to write them out in a little notebook to have with me in the kitchen. I am continuing to make up my own recipes. Who knows, maybe one day I will have a recipe book of my own or be handing out mason jars full of fresh fruit juices and smoothies at my very own juice bar!
"If diet is used correctly for prevention and treatment, other medicines are required less, if at all."
Winter weather, the cold months, are getting harder to handle the older I get. Intolerable things never get easier, they weigh heavier on you the more you have to endure them. There's just some things in this world that I cannot be apart of; I just have no interest whatsoever. It is kinda sad that I feel like I gave up a few months of adventure to hide from the cold weather. The more I stay under the covers the more I do not want to leave. Last week I finally left the abode to check out some new music. I found myself in a pub in Toronto that I have never been to before. The ambience was lovely; my friends and I agreed that places like that actually make us think it would not be so bad to live down town. But alas, I long for the quiet life. I'm conjuring up a way to escape that which I am beginning to loathe. The brightside of the bright lights and big city is truly the music. We are very lucky in Toronto that many awesome bands come through here on the regular. The band I saw last week was fantastic, they reminded me of the Lumineers. I find it interesting that folk music has made it's return on the scene. Folk music is the true essence of a small town and simple life.
I spent any extra money I had on concert tickets the last month; I have 3 exciting shows coming up. I still have a deep seeded issue with money that stems from my childhood. I realized this week that I have trouble letting go of the cost of things and always calculate in my head exactly how much fun costs. This is probably inhibiting my experiences of letting go and living freely. I do believe that money is the underlying cause to the destruction of the soul. That any given person will let go of all hopes and dreams to give into the almighty dollar, as it is what keeps us functioning on this planet. I gotta admit, I would rather be poor and happy then stuck up and rich.
My best friend went to El Savador to build a home at the end of last year. She saw poverty unlike many of us have ever witnessed before. What struck her the most was that even amongst all the poverty, the people were happier than anyone back at home here in North America. It seems to me that people who do not have material wealth have a better grasp of what is most important in this world. They smile more than those who own homes, cars, iphones, 20 pairs of shoes, etc.
I don't want things. Things do not interest me. I do however need to survive. I need to figure out a balance in my life where I can live healthily and feel secure enough to pass that onto the next generation. I need to do work that does not hurt any other being. Work that does not hurt nature. Work that does not make the corrupt more powerful. I could never do work that makes a person's life more difficult. Work that causes more pain and stress on a life that is already just trying to get by. Like placing parking tickets on a car or handing out bills or charging such high interest so that people are in debt to banks till the day they die. I have a vision; now I have to trust the process.
I was so close to asking a telemarketer last night what they wanted to be when they were 5 years old. What was your dream? What did you give up on over the years? What did you see yourself doing with your life before life defeated you with bills? I am lucky. I have a supportive family so I can switch careers and make mistakes and keep on truckin' because they provide me with a roof over my head and food in my belly. Without them I could very well be that telemarketer on the phone.
I re-watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy last week. I am really loving films again, the way I did when I was a child. The ring truly corrupted every soul that it came into contact with greed and power. It is the human condition to be weakened by the desires of the Ego. How many people can truly say that if they had the power and the wealth would they really be selfless about it? I do not think I am above any one else I merely recognize it. In recognizing the truth and accepting it we can grow to fix what is harming the rest. I can recall a concept that a teacher shared in high school about how people are always selfish and that the only time they become less self involved is when they have children. However the child is really an extension of the person, so does anyone ever look outside of them self and do good for all of mankind?
I do not believe that the walls of society were built in our best interest. I do see those walls crumbling. I see a whole slew of people who are not equipped with basic human survival skills. Many people do not even know how to cook a basic meal from scratch. We depend too much on convenience. Our grand parents knew how to build homes, hem pants, plant gardens, kneed dough... We know how to google information and most people do not even use this as the tool it is.
As far as society is concerned, the government, the police, the education system, the monopoly of business, I believe only one thing: Rules and Regulations are a Refuge for the Incompetent.
