Ok so I had this post going about nutrition and diet. I thought it was going great until the next day when my perspective had changed upon reviewing it. It seemed to be too wordy and preachy and I doubted it's relevance so I stepped away from the computer and reverted to the food network for hours until bed. Then I got to thinking about how my previous post must of came off as pretty darn insensitive and considering it was just one of those random thoughts in the moment type of post, I am shocked at how many views it has got. I don't know if the things I write are entertaining or the subject of scrutiny among the unknown people whom are reading them. So before the make-believe shit hits the fan I must assure that:
Maybe I will go on to edit my diet post entitled "Noble in thought, weak in action" or maybe I will find a new voice inside my head to write from. I write about myself and the things I learn and feel to be true, not because I think I am better than anyone or that I know everything under the sun, but because I am just a person living freely and I enjoy writing. I found a list I had made when I was a teenager, from my entrepreneurship class, while I was cleaning out an old box. I was surprised to see that my dreams from back then are almost the same as what they are now. One of the 9 things that I had written down as future goals for myself was "to be a writer, not because I think I am any good at it, but because I enjoy it."
I am currently working on penning my experiences in detail before too much time passes and I start to forget. I wear a bandage on my wrist as the writing is flaming up the old ganglion. I am confused on what I want from this particular blog and where I want it to go, what the themes should or should not be. I know one thing, I try not to get personal about my relationships on here, but rather I speak figuratively in life lessons and such. I've called this an open journal at times but now I seem to be refraining from details as I know my family and some friends (unkown and known) read it. I hope to come back to the place where I feel free enough to let my thoughts flow freely. I want to throw all worry of repercussion out the window because when I one day in the distant future finish my real story I am going to have to get used to the idea of being an open book.
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| A thought, not a statement for all of mankind. |
At this point, maybe I will write more about less serious topics and maybe do some posts about the movies I watch, maybe even some reviews. Or maybe I will let go of all my inhibitions and get more real with my bad self and just write without giving a care of how it could effect the reader. Not because I think my opinion is worth hearing in any given topic but because I enjoy writing. That is all. The end.
One of the random songs I know all the words to
Such an interesting parallel.
ReplyDeleteOh, what do I mean by that? Surprise, surprise, we don't see each other in a bit and our lives surrender, once again, to the inevitable synchronization that notoriously makes our friendship so special.
I'm at work, and I had a post I had begun and saved to continue on. Lo and behold, you write basically the same post I did, with the SAME "you owe everything..." quote image and all (I loved it, because as you'd know, something such as it would resonate with me as well, so when you shared it earlier this week, I saved it. Even printed it and put it as a clipping in my journal).
I may not be able to speak for everyone, but I can surely speak for myself when I say that I believe it's a special right and medicinal for the soul to write, and to write about the occurrences which sway our hearts, stir our emotions, bring us face to face with the deepest parts of ourselves, and share what rocks us. Why? You can write it for yourself. You can write it for others. You are the only one who can tell this story, and if you don't, it will be lost forever. It is not some feat of remarkable courage, and it is not something that need'th be explained. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Sometimes, I find I re-read what I wrote in the past and felt that some of what I've said was me trying to explain and make sense to MYSELF what it was I was thinking or feeling. But I will forever be unapologetic to anyone else offended or taken back by my words, because... they're my words. Sacred and true to me, just like yours are to you, and free to those interested to read them, no matter their motives or feelings towards them.
When I talk about you, I find that as time has gone by, I find myself saying that 'it's people like her that get the ball moving in life. It's people like her, with the voice she has, that doesn't just talk about change, but makes change happen', and that's the truth. And one way you do that is by writing.
With that...
Speak your mind. What twists the knife in your side? What sends your spirit soaring over a vast ocean scape? What are injustices? What are hypocrisies? What is good? What is GREAT???
You write about it, because not only does it make you happy... not only does it make you you...
but because I wanna read about it.
Lady, you 'gwan make me tear up!
ReplyDeleteI entirely agree, that writing these posts, writing thoughts out if you will, is a way to clear things up for myself. I see it as form and structure, to prove to myself what I have learned and writing it out is just like wrapping it up with a bow. It is like writing an essay for a class, except here I get to chose my topic and grades are of no value so the pressure is off. I get to define my discoveries and in the end, learn from myself that which I am trying to share.
As for the quote, when I saw it I thought of you, I knew it would resonate. Even this particular post today with my apprehension is partly related to how some of the things you have wrote about and its effects on those choosing to read it and take it to heart. And of course, those people finding it through me and the whole whirlwind of "what the fuck is going on behind our backs." For the most part, I don't give a flying fiddler's fart, but sometimes that sneaky little devil tells me to watch what I say, limit my words...
It is a Canadian thing right? Someone punches another in the face and he responds, "sorry that my face got in the way of your fist." Someone writes you hate mail and I let it bother me for days wishing to not contribute to wherever this negative energy is coming from.
Remember that article that a mutual friend shared about honesty? The writer tried the honesty test and started saying it like it was and of course getting negative feedback at times but in other circumstances people appreciated him not beating around the bush. I think that I am a very honest person, but if I find someone to be too sensitive I will chose to not be dishonest but to instead just not talk or give an opinion. Sometimes maybe avoid the whole situation period, take the route of "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all."
I guess it comes down to being able to separate "social" with "friendship". I chose real, definite friendship. I chose to keep those who accept me and appreciate me close and make the time to be there for them as well. After all that is what is most important to me. My friendships enrich my life and I know that those whom are truly my friend know me and my intentions better then even myself sometimes. I know that my true friends appreciate when I answer them honestly, let them down easily, an example: instead of making an excuse to not come over I will tell them it is simply because I don't want to. It is not insensitive, it is the best most simplest way to be. [I am sure I will get into detail about this one at some point. You know about being more wise about your selfless actions and choosing when it is best to go out of your way for others so that in the end it does not add to your own discomfort and thus eliminating your initial intention of doing a good deed...]
I admire you, lady, not just because you give me the reassurance I so often need, but because you are not afraid to speak your mind no matter what. I would want you on my side for any battle because you have a heart of gold. I love that you grow and change and sometimes make mistakes, but those mistakes are never in vain because you not only learn from them, but you will admit to it and grow from it. That is the point of life. People like you change the world.
All this boils down to intention. I personally believe that you do not ever go out of your way to hurt people. If someone has ever got hurt in the process it is because there is a deeper psychological reasoning behind it. People getting joy out of trying to hurt others, ticks me off to say the least.
I'm home now, I just dropped you off half an hour ago.
ReplyDeleteI hope you know... that I wouldn't change our bond for anything in the world, but only if to allow it to continue to evolve.
You can't fathom your ability to create such happiness in me :)
I'm glad we shared the evening together, even if there was a crowd. I cannot believe how literally EVERYONE showed up tonight so randomly. It was nice, and it was nice to share it with you... it makes the alone time I didn't get to have with you tonight flourish into something that's now a hundred times more exciting.
All of us as human beings are capable of losing ourselves, of hurting others, of making mistakes. But we are also capable of such greatness, kindness, love, helpfulness, and compassion.
Thank you for always being such a great source of light in my life.