Why do I do this to myself? Oh yeah, not too many other options at the moment. It is hard to find work. I'm sure folks would judge that I am too picky but things aren't ever that black or white. I've applied for fucking fast food restaurants when I couldn't find work that could use my actual skill set. And to my dismay I did not even get a call back, in fact I only got the interview because I sent my resume every week. When the head of the Taco stand asked why I sent my resume so many times I said because your job posting was still up on the board and I had received not even an acknowledgement that my email was received. I couldn't even get a call back from all the book stores I applied to, they hire fucking teenagers who probably haven't even read something as basic as 1984. You'd think these companies would want a responsible, educated adult working for them, but hell no. I hide my portfolio from these types of jobs, heaven for bid they see what I am capable of. Must I have to pretend like I'm fresh out of high school to obtain a little extra cash?
Back to the question, why do I do this to myself? Why am I putting myself, my work, my art out there in the public eye once again when I was pretty sure I had bowed out gracefully? Well, for one: I have a whole closet (now garage) full off woman's clothing that I made all by hand. I designed, made the patterns and sewed up every single god damn piece of clothing. I have rented out booths before, costing me $500-$1000 each time. Do you think I ever made any of it back? HELL NO. So why am I doing this again? Well, secondly: Perhaps I made some mistakes the first time around? A lot of my first designs were created to sell to professional woman, I figured those would be the customers with money and a desire for something original and creative. For this reason, I am not so proud of my line. I would not necessarily wear all the clothes I've made so why should I expect others to love them? Anything that I've made that I designed for myself has sold better than anything I made for the "public". So I came to the realization that I must stay true to myself.
Back to Basics. While travelling I was contemplating to no end what I should do, career wise, when I got home. At the beginning of the trip I concluded that I should move abroad and teach English to kids, which I still would like to do. But what would I do upon my return? While travelling I noticed a lot if Individual Style. People walking the streets in unique clothing. It was my time in Spain when I really enjoyed the clothes in the stores and ended up purchasing a few new things, to my rucksacks dismay. The fashions there really spoke to me. Then while in Berlin, walking through the markets, I reminisced on the booths I used to run. However, the folks in Berlin were having way more fun than I ever had at a show in Toronto! So I started wondering how I could incorporate my original hand crafted clothes (like the fashions in Spain) with my natural recycled style and fun-loving attitude (like the markets in Berlin).
I started my trip in London and ended in London. I was inspired by the Camden Markets my first week in London and could immediately see myself in a booth selling my stuff. Also the clothing in London was so my style. A style I am drawn too. It is in style. It can sell. When I got back to Camden Town 3 months later I walked back through the markets and I realized that I could do this. That I could add lace to shorts and silk screen Banksy quotes on shirts. Keep the costs low so at least money won't be coming out of my pocket. Time is what I have put into this. I don't want my time to be lost in vain. Then again, I can't exactly spend every day on the beach anyway.
I am sick of this sad world. Of how all the manufacturing jobs in Canada are absolutely obsolete. I cannot fathom how the government did not create any regulations keeping jobs on Canadian soil. You won't understand until you can't find a job. It seems like the majority of people either work in retail or at a bank. This is where I become particular with my work choice. I can't sell clothing in a retail store!!! I am an honest person, I would tell the customer they don't need anything in the store. People have so much clothes they think they need bigger closets to fix the problem. And none of the products, whether it be clothing or cell phones or fry pans, last as long as they should! Things are made to break down so that you can buy more. I cannot even blame consumerism for this. I blame the people. I blame every single one of you for contributing to this. For buying the shit you don't need. For choosing to eat at an American Chain restaurant where the food is microwaved instead of finding a nice family owned restaurant. I cannot fathom how our Canadian government did not make any laws against American Big Business coming in and paving over our fields and building a parking lot. Why can't they just tax the Big Business and give tax breaks to Small Business? It is sickening to say the least.
I do not like to spend my money frivolously because money does not come easy for me. Every hour I work serves to cause an ache in my back, neck and wrists. This is why most consumers don't give a fuck about where their pay check is going, because they don't give a shit about their job. Because they spend there days jacking off in the wash rooms and complaining about getting up early. This is how people view their jobs and sadly also how they view love. People rarely chose a partner because he or she lives up to their highest value, it's their lowest value they go for. Respect Yourself. Respect Work. Respect People. Make the right choices or watch this world go to shit. Don't point fingers at the TV or the Internet and don't blame advertisements for "brainwashing you". It is your choice. You can shut off the TV. It's easy. "Click". See. Don't buy shit you don't need. And if you do need or want something support local business and even more important ethical business. People who pay their workers a decent wage and don't treat their employers like there's some sort of ancient hierarchy going on. Perhaps I shouldn't talk for if I don't sell anything this weekend I am making WAY less than the children in the sweatshops in the third world countries. The difference is at least I am making peanuts with wonderful people around me and beautiful scenery that I am more than thankful to be living in.
"None but ourselves can free our minds." - Bob Marley
“The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by
people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It’s people who
follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages” Banksy
You said it, sister!
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